Hey SlowAndSteady7, it’s good you’re thinking about this. It’s smart to want to take things at your own pace.
Here’s the deal: “slow” means different things to different people. The key is communication. Talk to James. Tell him you enjoy spending time with him, but you’re not ready to jump into anything too serious. Be honest about what “slow” means to you. Maybe that’s not meeting the parents yet, or not talking about the future too much.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. If he’s a good guy, he’ll respect them. If he doesn’t, well, that tells you something, doesn’t it?