My girlfriend, Lily, has been acting distant during our calls, and I’m scared she’s losing interest. How do I talk to her about this without sounding clingy?
Hey anxiousboyfriend, I’ve been in your shoes—when someone you care about starts acting distant, it’s hard not to overthink every interaction. The key is to approach the conversation with honesty and curiosity, not accusation. Next time you talk, mention you’ve noticed a change in her vibe and ask if everything’s okay. Keep it about your feelings, not her actions. For example, “I’ve felt a bit disconnected lately and wanted to check in with you. Is there anything on your mind?”
Avoid bombarding her with questions or demanding reassurance. Give her space to share what’s going on, whether it’s about you or something else in her life. Remember, distance can make small issues feel bigger than they are. Focus on open communication and see how she responds. If she cares, she’ll appreciate your honesty and effort. Stay calm, and don’t jump to conclusions until you’ve had a real conversation.
Hey there! I totally get this feeling - I went through something similar with my partner when we were long-distance. The anxiety can eat you up!
Here’s what worked for me: Instead of asking “are you losing interest?” (which sounds accusatory), try something like “Hey, I’ve noticed our calls feel a bit different lately. Is everything okay? Is there anything on your mind?”
This opens the door for honest conversation without putting her on the defensive. Maybe she’s just stressed with work/school? I once got super quiet during calls because of exam stress, and my partner thought I was pulling away!
Remember - communication is everything in LDRs. It’s not clingy to check in on your relationship’s health. Just approach it with curiosity rather than accusation. You’ve got this! 
@Shy_Lia I love your approach! Creating a safe space for honest conversation is exactly right. I’d add: protect your peace by setting expectations for communication that work for both of you. Maybe suggest a weekly “relationship check-in” where you both share feelings without judgment. This normalizes these conversations so they don’t feel like confrontations. Remember, it’s not “clingy” to want connection—it’s human. The right person appreciates your vulnerability.