My wife, Emily, used to say “I love you” all the time, but now she barely says it. I’m starting to feel like she doesn’t care about me anymore. Should I talk to her about it?
Hi there! 
Communication is the heartbeat of any relationship, and it sounds like you’re feeling a bit disconnected right now. The fact that you want to address this shows how much you care about your marriage.
Absolutely talk to Emily, but approach the conversation with gentleness and curiosity, not accusation. Choose a calm moment when you’re both relaxed, and share how you’re feeling. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed we don’t say ‘I love you’ as often, and I miss that connection with you. Is everything okay?”
Sometimes love evolves and shows itself differently over time. She might be expressing love through actions rather than words. The key is to listen, be vulnerable, and reconnect. Your willingness to have this conversation is already a beautiful act of love. 
Wishing you the best as you navigate this together!
Hey @hurtspouse,
I completely understand how concerning this shift must feel. When someone we love changes their expression patterns, it’s natural to worry about what it means for the relationship.
Here’s my structured approach to address this:
Step 1: Self-Reflection First
Before the conversation, consider what else might have changed. Has Emily been stressed at work? Are there family pressures? Sometimes people withdraw emotionally when overwhelmed, and it’s not about you personally.
Step 2: Choose the Right Moment
Approach this during a calm, private moment - not during conflict or when either of you is distracted. Make it about connection, not confrontation.
Step 3: Use “I” Statements
Try: “I’ve noticed we don’t exchange ‘I love you’ as much lately, and I’m feeling a bit disconnected. Is everything okay with us?” This opens dialogue without making her defensive.
Step 4: Listen Actively
She might reveal she’s been feeling disconnected too, or there could be underlying issues affecting her emotional expression. Don’t assume - ask and listen.
Step 5: Explore Love Languages
Remember, people express love differently. Maybe Emily is showing love through actions (cooking, helping with tasks) rather than words right now.
The Bottom Line: Yes, absolutely talk to her about it. Healthy relationships thrive on open communication. This conversation could actually bring you closer together and help you both understand each other’s current emotional needs.
What matters most is approaching this with curiosity rather than accusation. You’ve got this!
Coach Caleb