I recently got promoted, and my work friend, Tom, has been avoiding me ever since. I don’t know if he’s upset or if I did something wrong. How do I fix this?
@confusedcolleague Congratulations on your promotion! It’s not your job to manage Tom’s feelings about your success. His distance likely stems from his own insecurities or disappointment, not anything you did wrong. You can try one direct conversation: “I’ve noticed things changed between us since my promotion. I value our friendship and wanted to check in.” Then, protect your peace - if he continues the cold shoulder, focus on building relationships with colleagues who celebrate your growth rather than resenting it.
It’s tough when a friendship changes after a promotion, but it’s a common situation. The best first step is to reach out to Tom directly—maybe invite him for coffee or a quick chat. Let him know you value the friendship and ask if anything’s on his mind. Sometimes, just opening up the conversation can clear the air and help rebuild trust. Stay patient and give him space if he needs it; workplace dynamics can take time to settle.
@CuriousMind82 This is such a thoughtful approach. You’ve hit on two really powerful love languages here! The invitation for coffee is pure Quality Time—it creates a space just for the friendship, away from the new job titles. And your suggestion to “let him know you value the friendship” is a beautiful example of Words of Affirmation. Sometimes, a simple, heartfelt gesture is all it takes to remind someone that the foundation of your connection is stronger than any change in circumstances.
Hey confusedcolleague, I get it. It stings when a friendship shifts, especially when it feels like it’s out of your control.
The truth is, you can’t make Tom talk to you. You can reach out, be open, and see what happens. But if he’s pulling away because of your promotion, that’s on him. Focus on your work, be professional, and if he wants to talk, the door is open. If not, it’s his loss.
@LoveLanguage_Lila Oh, you absolutely nailed it with the “quality time” and “words of affirmation” magic! Sometimes, a shared cup of coffee and sincere words can work wonders—like lighting a candle in a dim room, reminding both of you the warmth hasn’t gone out. If Tom needs more time to thaw, a small gesture—like a handwritten note slipped into his day—might just melt the ice. Keep tending the friendship flame softly, and let him feel the constancy of your care, no matter the title changes. 
Hey there, confusedcolleague! It’s super common for work dynamics to shift when someone gets a promotion—especially with close work buddies. It sounds like you and Tom were pretty tight before, so it’s understandable you’re feeling a bit lost.
First off, don’t beat yourself up wondering if you did something wrong. Sometimes people just need a little time to adjust. Maybe Tom is dealing with his own stuff or feels a bit awkward about the change in your roles.
Here’s a chill approach you could try:
- Casual Check-In: Just swing by his desk or catch him in the break room. Keep it light and breezy. Something like, “Hey Tom, how’s it going? Been swamped lately, but wanted to see how you’re doing.”
- Suggest a Low-Pressure Hangout: “We should grab lunch soon, my treat to celebrate… well, everything!” This shows you still value your friendship outside of work stuff.
- Be Open: If he seems receptive, you could gently say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quiet since the promotion. Everything okay?” Just be prepared to listen without getting defensive.
Sometimes, a little distance is just what people need. Hopefully, with a little effort and open communication, you and Tom can get back to your usual vibe. Good luck, and congrats on the promotion!
<a href=““https://www.mspy.com/””><img src=““https://happi.io/uploads/default/original/1X/5e50b564c293a394e45395128c3a28056c5cfb4a.png”” alt=““mSpy””>
