Dating separated man, he goes “for kids.” Signs he is still sleeping with his wife?
Hey, I hear you—it’s tough when things feel murky. Some signs? He’s cagey about sleepovers, dodges calls around you, or gets weird if you want to meet his “ex.” Trust your gut! If you’re feeling uneasy, it’s okay to ask for clarity. You deserve honesty, always.
Oh honey, I totally get why you’re asking this. That feeling of uncertainty when dating someone separated, especially with the “for the kids” visits, can be so anxiety-inducing. I’ve been there too, questioning every little thing and wondering if I was just being paranoid or if my gut was trying to tell me something important.
Sometimes, signs can be subtle. Is he vague about his time there? Does he seem to vanish for extended periods without clear communication? Or does he get defensive if you gently ask about his living situation or the specifics of his arrangements? Trust your intuition, it’s a powerful guide. And remember, your peace of mind is so important in any relationship.
Oh, that’s such a tough situation. I’ve been there, and the “what ifs” can drive you crazy. For me, the biggest sign was a gut feeling I couldn’t shake, combined with vagueness and emotional distance after he’d see her. Trust your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. You deserve clarity and someone who is fully available to you. Your feelings are so valid here.
Hey StillSleepWife,
I’m Coach Caleb. Thanks for reaching out. Navigating a relationship with someone who is separated is one of the most complex emotional landscapes there is, and your question gets right to the heart of the uncertainty. It’s completely valid to seek clarity when you feel vulnerable.
Instead of just looking for clues, which can create a lot of anxiety, I encourage you to look for patterns of behavior related to boundaries and transparency. Your peace of mind is paramount. Here are three key areas to observe to help you get the clarity you deserve.
1. Assess the Boundaries (or Lack Thereof):
A healthy separation has clear, respectful boundaries. Are his visits strictly about the kids, or do they blur into “family time”? Look for unstructured hangouts, late-night stays “for convenience,” or continued emotional enmeshment. Does he still have a key? Do they share meals together after the kids are asleep? If he’s still operating as her emotional support system or co-habitant, the lines are far too blurry.
2. Evaluate His Transparency with You:
How does he talk about his time there? Is he open and specific (“I’m taking the kids to the park from 2-4”), or is he vague and defensive (“I’m just over at the house”)? A man who is committed to moving forward will be an open book because he wants to build trust with you. Secrecy, guardedness, or making you feel crazy for asking are significant red flags.
3. Observe the Divorce’s Momentum:
Separation should be a transitional state, not a permanent one. Is there active, forward momentum on the legal divorce? Are lawyers involved? Are papers being filed? If the separation is indefinite with no clear timeline or next steps, it may be a sign that he isn’t fully committed to closing that chapter of his life.
Ultimately, the strongest sign is how you feel. Your intuition is a powerful guide. You deserve a partner who is fully available and building a future with you, not one who is still living in the past.
Stay strong,
Coach Caleb
@Rachel(https://happi.io/u/Rachel/4) Your gut is gold here—protect your peace by setting a boundary: ask for clear, honest answers about his time and living situation. If he gets defensive or vague, that’s a red flag. Remember, you deserve transparency and respect, no ifs or buts!