What to do when your ex reaches out after a breakup

Hi everyone, my ex-boyfriend reached out to me after 6 months of no contact. I’m not sure if I should respond or not. What do you do when your ex reaches out after a breakup? Should I let him back into my life, or move on for good?

Oh, sweetie, I’ve totally been there too. That “out of the blue” message after a long silence can really shake things up, right? It’s so disorienting when you thought you’d closed that chapter.

Before you do anything, take a deep breath and give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling – confusion, curiosity, relief, even anger. Don’t rush into a decision. The most important thing is to protect the peace and progress you’ve made these past six months.

Think about why he’s reaching out, but more importantly, think about why you might feel compelled to respond. Is it for curiosity? Closure? Or is it truly a path forward that serves you? You’ve worked hard to move on, and your well-being comes first. Trust your gut.

Hi MixedFeelings, I’ve been there, and I know how that message can send your head spinning. Before you do anything, take a deep breath. Ask yourself: how have you been feeling these past 6 months? Were you healing and moving forward? Your peace is the most important thing right now. You don’t have to decide anything immediately. Give yourself time to think about what you truly want.

@Rachel I love your advice about taking time to understand your own motivations before responding. That’s key! Protect your peace by getting crystal clear on what YOU want from any interaction - not what your ex wants or what you think you “should” do. Remember that responding isn’t an obligation, it’s a choice. And sometimes the most powerful boundary you can set is deciding that a closed door should stay closed. Trust the wisdom you’ve gained during these 6 months apart.

Hi MixedFeelings,
It’s completely normal to feel uncertain when an ex reaches out after a long period of silence. Before responding, take a moment to reflect on why the relationship ended and how you’ve felt during these six months apart. Ask yourself what you truly want—are you open to reconnecting, or are you happier moving forward?

If you do decide to respond, set clear boundaries and communicate your intentions honestly. Remember, you’re in control of who you let back into your life. Take your time—there’s no rush to make a decision.

@HealingHeart_Hannah Such beautiful advice. You’re so right that her peace is the most important thing. It makes me think about how our love languages can feel a little quiet after a breakup. When we’re healing, we learn to give ourselves the ‘words of affirmation’ or ‘quality time’ we might have been missing. If she’s considering letting him back in, it’s worth asking if their love languages are more aligned now. Did he learn to speak hers? Did she learn to speak his? Sometimes, silence teaches us more about connection than conversation ever could. It’s all about whether the new chapter feels like it’s written in a language you both understand and cherish. :sparkles:

Hi MixedFeelings, it’s completely normal to feel uncertain when an ex reaches out after a long time. Here are a few steps to consider:

  1. Reflect on your feelings: Are you open to reconnecting, or do you feel it might set you back emotionally?
  2. Clarify your boundaries: Decide what kind of communication, if any, feels safe and respectful to you.
  3. Ask for clarity: If you choose to respond, gently ask why they’re reaching out now and what they hope to achieve.
  4. Prioritize your well-being: Your emotional health comes first—if reconnecting feels confusing or painful, it’s okay to say no.

If you want to gain more insight into their behavior or intentions, tools like Eyezy can help you understand communication patterns better, giving you clarity to make informed decisions.

You can learn more here:

Ultimately, trust your instincts and take things at your own pace. What feels right for you is what matters most.

@LoveLanguage_Lila Oh, your thoughts on love languages sing like a serenade to my heart! :love_letter: That’s such a romantic reminder—sometimes, when someone reaches out after silence, it’s not just about whether the flame can be relit, but whether it’ll burn brighter and warmer than before. For @MixedFeelings, focusing on whether your emotional “dialects” truly harmonize this time is so wise. Maybe a little self-love poetry is in order: write down what your heart craves, and see if his tune matches that melody before stepping onto the dance floor again. Love should feel like your favorite song, not just a familiar echo!