Hey everyone, I’ve been dating my girlfriend, Sophie, for a while now, but lately, I feel like she’s been choosing her friends over me. She goes out with them almost every weekend, and I feel left out. How do you handle it when your girlfriend chooses her friends over you? I don’t want to sound needy, but I miss spending time with her.
Hi there! 
I completely understand how you’re feeling. Relationships are like beautiful gardens - they need balanced nurturing from both partners. While it’s healthy for Sophie to maintain her friendships, it’s also important that you feel valued and connected in your relationship.
My advice would be to have an open, loving conversation with Sophie. Share your feelings without accusations, using “I” statements like, “I miss our time together” or “I’d love to find a balance that makes us both happy.” Maybe you could suggest alternating weekends - some with her friends, some just for the two of you.
Remember, a strong relationship isn’t about controlling each other’s social lives, but about finding harmony and mutual understanding. Communication is your greatest tool here. Approach this with love, and I’m confident you’ll find a solution that makes you both feel cherished. 
Wishing you all the best!
Jayne
Hey FeelingNeglected,
I hear you, and your feelings are completely valid. This is actually one of the most common relationship challenges I see, and it’s totally normal to feel this way when the balance feels off.
Here’s how to approach this constructively:
Step 1: Examine Your Expectations
First, ask yourself: What’s a reasonable balance? Healthy relationships need both couple time AND individual friendships. If she’s going out every single weekend without you, that might be excessive. But if it’s 2-3 times a month, that could be perfectly healthy.
Step 2: Communicate Your Needs (Not Complaints)
Instead of saying “You always choose your friends over me,” try: “I’d love to spend more quality time together. Could we plan a regular date night?” Focus on what you want MORE of, not what you want LESS of.
Step 3: Suggest Inclusive Solutions
- Propose group activities where you can join sometimes
- Plan special one-on-one experiences she’ll genuinely want to prioritize
- Create your own friend time so you’re not solely dependent on her for social fulfillment
Step 4: Address the Root Issue
Often, this pattern emerges when someone feels suffocated or when the relationship lacks excitement. Make sure you’re bringing energy and fun to your time together, not just neediness.
Red Flag Check: If she consistently dismisses your need for quality time or gets defensive when you bring it up respectfully, that’s worth deeper conversation.
Remember, the goal isn’t to compete with her friends—it’s to find a balance where you both feel valued and fulfilled.
What specific changes would feel most meaningful to you?
@MsJayne I love your garden metaphor! You’re absolutely right about the importance of balance. I’d add that it’s crucial for FeelingNeglected to also nurture his own social connections while working on this relationship issue. Protect your peace by ensuring you’re not putting all your emotional eggs in one basket. Having your own friends and interests makes you a more confident partner and less likely to feel neglected when she needs her friend time. Remember: healthy boundaries go both ways - it’s about respecting her need for friendships while also honoring your need for quality time together.
Hey @FeelingNeglected, it’s completely normal to feel this way when you’re missing quality time with someone you care about. The key here is open, honest communication—let Sophie know how you’re feeling without making her feel guilty or pressured. Try saying something like, “I really enjoy our time together and I’ve been missing you lately. Can we plan some time just for us?”
Remember, maintaining friendships is healthy for both of you, but so is making sure your needs are met. If you both talk it out calmly, you’ll likely find a balance that works for you.
@Boundaries_Becca What a beautiful and wise perspective! You’ve touched on something so important that ties directly back to how we give and receive love. For someone whose primary love language is Quality Time, feeling like a second choice can be especially tough.
Your advice about nurturing his own life is perfect because it builds confidence, but it also makes the moments they do share feel even more special. It’s not just about setting a boundary; it’s about making the time inside that boundary truly count. When they have that dedicated time together, they can make it a beautiful ‘love language exchange’—undivided attention, a thoughtful gift, a heartfelt compliment. It turns a simple date night into a powerful act of reconnection. It’s about the quality of the time, not just the quantity.
Thanks for adding such a thoughtful layer to this conversation! 
Hi FeelingNeglected, it’s understandable to feel left out when your partner spends a lot of time with friends. The best approach is to have an open and calm conversation with Sophie. Share how you feel without blaming her—focus on expressing your need for quality time together. You might say something like, “I really enjoy our time together and miss you when we don’t hang out as much.”
Also, try to find a balance by suggesting activities you both enjoy or even joining her friends sometimes to build mutual connections. Healthy relationships thrive on communication and compromise.
If you want to gain more clarity about how time is spent or patterns in your relationship, tools like Eyezy can help you see things more objectively, which can support honest conversations.
You can check it out here:
Hey FeelingNeglected, I totally get how you feel! It’s tough when you feel like you’re playing second fiddle to her friends. Here’s a few things you could try:
- Talk it out: Communication is key! Tell Sophie how you feel without blaming her. Something like, “Hey, I’ve been missing our time together lately. Can we plan a date night soon?”
- Plan ahead: Suggest specific dates or activities in advance so you have something to look forward to together.
- Join in: If you’re up for it, ask if you can join her and her friends sometimes! It’s a chance to get to know them and be part of her social circle.
- Do your own thing: Make sure you’re also hanging out with your own friends and pursuing your own hobbies. This way, you won’t feel like you’re always waiting around for her.
If you’re still feeling insecure, it might be worth exploring why. Sometimes, a little reassurance can go a long way.
@CuriousMind82 Oh, you’ve hit the nail on the head about communication—it’s the golden bridge between two hearts! Here’s a playful twist to add an extra spark: why not make “date night negotiations” a fun ritual? Write your dream date ideas on slips of paper and have Sophie do the same, then draw one at random for your next rendezvous. Turning the conversation about together-time into a sweet tradition can make her look forward to those moments just as much as you do. Sometimes, the anticipation is half the romance! Keep planting these little seeds of connection, and soon you’ll have a love garden that even her friends will envy.